Reflection from Membership Sunday, October 27, 2024
Good morning. For newcomers, I am the Director of Community Engagement here at Follen Church. Welcome. Today is our fall Membership Sunday service where we joyously welcome new members into our community. Our worship theme for this month is thresholds, and that seems very fitting for Membership Sunday.
When we enter this church each week, we enter not just a building, but a sanctuary—a space imbued with intention and love. The threshold of Follen offers a physical crossing over from the noise of the outside world into a sacred space that embraces each person without limits or requirements. You are not required to look a certain way, be a certain age, have a certain level of education or skill set. You don’t even have to share the same beliefs or faith traditions to be welcome in this community. The true heart and relational threshold of our congregation is built upon our shared covenant of how we care for and treat one another. Our covenant—the promises we make to one another—serves as the heart of our relationships, guiding our interactions with openness, respect and compassion, and fostering a community grounded in love and mutual support.
If our shared covenant is the promise we make to each other, then personal healthy boundaries are the promises and care we offer to ourselves. Boundaries can take many forms: emotional, physical, and even spiritual. I propose that boundaries are not about building walls to protect ourselves, but rather they are thresholds that help to define our relationships, offering a framework that respects individual autonomy while fostering a sense of belonging.
Imagine for a moment a garden, where boundaries are essential for each plant to thrive. These boundaries create the necessary space for growth, preventing chaos and competition for resources. Just as a gardener recognizes the distinct needs of each plant, we must honor our own needs and the needs of those around us. Boundaries allow us to cultivate an environment of open communication, mutual respect, and emotional safety, ensuring our relationships flourish and that everyone feels valued in our diverse community.
In this vibrant tapestry of gardening, the ancient practice of planting the “three sisters” crops of corn, beans, and squash exemplifies interdependence, balance and healthy boundaries. Each plant plays a unique role, growing in harmony while respecting its designated space. This mirrors how we, as members of our Unitarian Universalist congregation, can thrive by setting healthy boundaries. Just as farmers rotate their crops to rejuvenate the soil and sustain vitality, we must also recognize when to step back from our commitments to avoid burnout and to make room for fresh ideas and new voices. By allowing ourselves this cycle of engagement and renewal, we create a flourishing community where everyone contributes meaningfully, fostering an environment that celebrates both individuality and collective strength.
Boundaries manifest in various ways—whether it’s setting limits on our time, transitioning to new roles that spark our interest, or articulating our own emotional needs. They aren’t just about saying “no”; they also enable us to say “yes” in ways that align with our capacities. By clearly expressing our limits, we foster honest interactions and create a safe space for others to do the same. This mutual respect lays the foundation for a community rooted in compassion and understanding. Let us honor our boundaries as we honor the natural rhythms of the garden, ensuring our congregation flourishes for years to come.
As Unitarian Universalists, we embrace the principle of respecting the inherent worth and dignity of every person. This means recognizing that everyone’s boundaries are valid and deserve to be honored. It’s essential to approach each other’s thresholds with curiosity and care, rather than judgment. When we encounter a boundary, we have a choice: to push against it or to engage with it respectfully, seeking to understand and support one another. In our congregational life, let us remember that our relationships are enhanced, not hindered, by boundaries. They allow us to navigate the complexities of community life with grace. When we respect each other’s limits, we create an atmosphere where love can grow unimpeded, where everyone can contribute their unique gifts without fear of overextending themselves.
As we move forward together, I encourage each of you to reflect on your own boundaries. As we grow and change, so too do our needs and capacities. Communication is key. Checking in with ourselves and each other can lead to a richer understanding of our collective needs and aspirations. What are the thresholds you need to establish for your well-being? How can you communicate these needs in a way that invites connection rather than separation? And how can you honor the boundaries of others with openness and respect?
May we continue to build a community where everyone feels empowered to share their gifts without sacrificing their own peace and joy. Together, let us live into our covenant and nurture relationships that create space for growth, compassion, and love.